20 Months Update – The thin line between NEED and WANT

Are we up to raising stubborn kids who get all their asks served? My daughter asked for a toy the other kid had….she’ll get it now! Really??

As Naina is growing, yes she is getting naughtier everyday but with that my responsibility of raising a well-mannered kid is also increasing every-single-day. And that made me research more on how to deal with this phase of parenting.

When my kid asks for something we can get her very easily, we hardly give it a second thought…
Is that OK? The answer is NO.
Is this “NO” practically possible? The answer again is NO.

So, here’s a simple solution – You have to have flip sides of yourself as a parent.

One side has to be strong and smart enough to distinguish between the little one’s needs and unnecessary(not so important) wants.

Other side of you has to be soft, loving, and patient.

Let me first tell you my way of understanding her needs and wants…

  • Need– In a day out or party, if your kid suddenly becomes cranky and starts pulling your dress asking you to play with him/her or to get back home – it’s completely OK. It’s not something your kid does not deserve. Imagine yourself in a party with a group of people you don’t even know…you’ll be doing the same (of course not pulling someone’s dress but that’s their little gesture – “Mumma, I’m getting bored…let’s go home”).
  • Want– Asking for your phone to watch a video or asking for something the other kid has no matter if it isn’t even needed.

Fulfilling our kids need is our responsibility as a parent. We have to give them all the attention they need when they ask for it. You should make the baby realize that they don’t have to cry or call your name 10 times to get your attention. React to your baby’s first call and if you really cannot give them time at the moment, sit down on your knees… hug them and ask them to allow you 5 mins(this trick does magic and makes your baby feel the love you both share). Not giving them the asked attention or scolding them in front of others isn’t the best way to deal with it. Infact, it can make the situation full of embarrassment and will make the baby crankier.

But, it’s not always about their genuine needs…it’s more of those wants that we initially introduce (remember my post on introducing YouTube to her :P) to them and then try to keep away. It may be for anything that’s not good for your baby.

So, if you face any situation when you feel your baby is unnecessarily getting stubborn for something which is not good for him/her, bring out your stronger side. It’s hard to see your little one cry…they may even throw stuff away, shout in anger, and may even try to hit/slap you. Stay away, stay calm, and don’t say a word… give him/her some time to come out of that rebellious feeling. *It is hardly a matter of 1-2 minutes for Naina.* Now, FLIP and bring out your softer side. Slowly go closer to your little one…tickle him/her, sing his/her favourite song, hug and kiss him/her to remind of your bond and love. You then have to very lovingly explain them the situation on what’s good and what’s bad for him/her.

OK, so the “gyaan” is over!

Other than this learning, I’ve weaned off completely and she now asks for bottle milk by saying “boo” whenever she is hungry. Thanks to her new loveys…she does not have to be breastfed to sleep now. She hugs her lovey and sleeps.

Word additions this month are…

Phone (her fav)
Cow (cannot differentiate between cow and buffalo)
Bow (ball)
Shee (pee and poop)
Moo (looking up in the sky every night)
Mhoo (when asked how cows sound)

To my surprize, she now even plays with her toys all alone….as in she doesn’t need us all the time now. She can finally stay in her room (for 30 min at max.)

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